


Casualty of the Pointless and Beautiful

by vindivher



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, GinHijiGin, Gintama is gr8, Kind of an Au I guess, war?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 05:43:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3798931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vindivher/pseuds/vindivher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where only they, existed in the night without stars. Actually, the two of them weren't there at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Casualty of the Pointless and Beautiful

_Because the war takes and takes and takes. You were the only thing given to me and I gave you my heart so don’t leave okay? Okay? Okay?_

Rain fell around them, soft and cold, a light ticking of a metronome that reminded them; _you, you, you are worthless, you are a casualty of war._ They were 17 and 18 but looking up into Gintoki’s face, illuminated by the lamp in his hand, his eyes were twenty years older and red and wary. They saw things no teenager should have but this was war and they didn’t matter, see?

He grabbed Hijikata’s hand and pulled him up onto the roof, slipping a little on the rain. Gintoki crawled over to the middle of the roof and silently patted the spot next to him. Hijikata scooted over and sat next him. He was close but no heat radiated off Gintoki’s body and it scared him, _are you dead, you’re not actually there at all are you?_ Gintoki was looking up at the sky and Hijikata looked up too and without looking over, Gintoki held out his hand for him.

There were no stars that night except for the ones carved into Gintoki’s palms. _Did the stars fall right out of the night and into your hands or did you paint them for me to hold?_ Hijikata took his hand, _cold,_ and Gintoki blew out the lamp.

All around them was darkness, the sky and ground was completely black. There was no such thing as naive as a little light in the darkness that would lead you out of the night. There were no stars or the moon, just the rain and wind between them that filled in the silence. So what were they doing out here in this place with nothing to see? He looked over in Gintoki’s general direction, of course there was nothing but darkness. He would have asked, _do you love me? Do you? Do you want to kiss me like I want to kiss you? Do you want me to live as much as I want you to live so we can get drunk on cheap alcohol when we’re 30?_ Maybe he would regret his silence someday but for now he took comfort in Gintoki’s silence and the rain tapping against the roof. They don’t really love each other, they’re only 17 and 18 and there are so many possibilities just waiting for them to look up. But Hijikata wasn’t about to waste the one person the war had given him. Gintoki was right there next to him, right at this moment when both of them were hurting most so why wouldn't he believe he was in love? Isn't that how humans worked? The darkness was fading back to reveal a flourish of crimson, fuchsia and magenta. He looked over at Gintoki, he was clutching his side with his other hand, his white kimono was soaked with the colours of dawn but he was still looking up at the damned sky. Why did the fucking sky matter to him so much that he would climb onto a roof while fucking bleeding _?_

“Gintoki you’re ble-“

He didn’t give him so much a glance or even wince as he hissed “Shut up” and Hijikata thought for a moment he was going to scream but what filthy asswipe declined a demand from a bleeding man? Gintoki finally looked at him and grinned, eyes _so tried, tired of fighting a losing war._ He was the fucking Shiroyasha so why did he look so weak and fragile as he closed his eyes and leaned against Hijikata’s shoulder? They sat together under a pointlessly beautiful sky with Gintoki pressing stars into Hijikata’s hands and bleeding from his side.

“Is it really fine this way?”

“Yeah, it’s fine this way.”

_And soon it’ll be spring and he’ll be standing under the same starless sky, breath white and warm and he’ll know, he’ll understand why the sky is so important. But by then it won’t matter anymore._

**Author's Note:**

> Umm I guess this is an Au where they meet in the war??  
> Thank you for reading and I hope you liked it hahaha ha lol


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